At this point in my life, I am thoroughly convinced that the loss of a friendship is significantly more painful than the loss of a romantic relationship.
It’s no secret that having your heart broken by your significant other is a horrible feeling. Losing the person you counted on to understand you and go through life with is devastating. But with romantic relationships, no matter how many plans you make, there’s always the possibility of a breakup.
However, chances are, you don’t enter into friendships with the expectation that one day, you may not be friends anymore. Having a falling out with a friend has always come as a huge surprise to me. It feels like one day, I have someone that’s really important, and the next, they’ve removed themselves from my life or proven to me that they no longer have a place there.
There are some people that will be pretty permanent in our lives. Certain ones will come into your life and they’ll stay. People choose to stay in your life because they love and care about you. They will go through anything with you and do anything for you, just like you would likely do the same for these people. Appreciate these people. Make them know that you care. Reciprocate their love and kindness.
The people that stay will serve as your rock, your support system when you are having trouble supporting yourself. They will always be there, even if you haven’t talked in months. Your relationship will weather the storm, no matter what comes your way, you will get through it with that person. You choose to be in each other’s lives every single day, even when you disagree or when it gets tough. They would, without hesitation, be on the next train or flight if you truly needed them, no matter the distance.
Some people will come into your life for a shorter period of time and then they won’t stick around. This might be someone you expected to have around forever. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of drifting. Things happen. People move away and their interests change. Maybe whatever brought you together just isn’t there anymore.
Other times, the split is more dramatic. Maybe there’s a huge problem that wedges between you that you just can’t seem to agree. Maybe the person did something that you can’t forgive, or you did something that they can’t seem to move past. They will make you happy until they don’t. That’s okay.
Those people were in your life to teach you a lesson. Drifting from someone teaches you that each and every day, life changes and along with it, we change. Reaching out to someone that you drifted from can be a wonderful idea. However, some doors are better off staying closed.
Sometimes, people that you love are in a place where they are preventing you from your own personal development. It can be tempting to try to be there for the person and put their well-being above your own, especially if you believe that their behavior isn’t intentional and they are good hearted. But, in many situations, you need to put yourself first, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about that for one second.
Cutting off someone who is toxic teaches you to value yourself because life is too short to solely cater to the needs of others. Being left behind by someone teaches you to pick yourself up through loss. To know that you can rely solely on yourself to be strong and push through. It can force you to see things from a different perspective and reevaluate the way that you act and connect with others.
Even though it can be hard to see, there will be new people that come into your life. Just like people will leave when you least expect it, people will enter your life the same way.
Life changes and doesn’t wait for anyone. Cherish the people who choose to stay, and stay in their lives, too. These people are the ones that will show you what true companionship is. They will show you what it’s like to feel safe and loved. They will inspire you to be a better person to everyone you meet.
Forgive the people who leave your life. Choose to believe that they had their own reasons to do so, even if they don’t give you the proper explanation. Choose to be thankful for the time they spent with you. Choose to trust that they came into your life for a reason. Choose to believe that that reason will eventually benefit you, even it doesn’t feel like it right now. Choose to look back on your memories and be thankful for every minute that they contributed to your happiness, because not every minute in life will be happy. Treasure the time in which you were and the people that helped you get there.