end

I don’t know how it’s possible that people are already mentioning “senior year” and “graduation” and “full-time jobs”. Some of my best friends are graduating in just a few weeks, and passing the torch onto us to lead.

Cliche as it is, I literally feel like freshman year was yesterday. I feel like I am still way too inexperienced to leave college and do real adult things. I know I still have a year, but one year isn’t nearly enough until I feel like I’ll get there. But I guess no one does. My friends who are seniors are saying the thing: they aren’t ready, they’re going to miss SHU, and they’re scared of the adjustment. It sure does fly – I often think back on my first two years here. Each was messy in its own way: freshman year, I had a whole lot of maturing to do. I came out of high school with a relatively big ego, thinking I was ready for everything that was coming for me. I was so wrong it’s not even funny. Well, actually, it kind of is to look back compared to where I am now. I never imagined what was coming for me. I was so sensitive to the littlest thing, I played the victim in so many situations. I needed change and coming into college made me see that. Sophomore year changed everything for obvious reasons. I had changed so much, that I was confident in the fact that I was stronger than ever. One month into my second year, it hit me straight in the face that it’s not all as simple as it seems. I had always had a strong sense of sympathy who suffered from diseases and disorders, but it never occurred to me that it would be me. And that, along with a million others, made last year another year of change. This one hasn’t been a year of a change as it was one of growth. I have earned some serious leadership positions and gained a lot of experience that has made me look towards my future – which is terrifying. It is scary, but realistic, and it’s starting to almost sound normal.

I never knew how much of a difference a year could make until I got here. This school year coming to an end is scary. The idea of a new year is scary. But the idea of the end of college ending is the scariest of all.

Honestly, graduation is going to be here before we know it. I think about how different I’ll be by then. who knows? Every single experience shapes us in ways that we may not understand and ways that scare us. And that’s okay. I think. I don’t know guys, I’m still figuring it out.

One thought on “end

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  1. and you, sweet girl, have been going through a lot of experiences. Some many great things mixed in with tough circumstances. Enjoy your last year and have some fun.

    Liked by 1 person

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