Growing up, I always knew that I wanted to write, and people used to tell me that I should write a blog. I used to journal, and it kind of helped, but none of it was ever really consistent. When I was diagnosed, I needed an outlet, and I knew I had to find a way to talk about it. I tried therapy, and that didn’t really seem to be too effective for me. I found that people could easily sympathize, but at some points, I just needed someone to understand. To this day, I know only two other people with epilepsy, personally, but still, I feel blessed for that.
I started this blog because I wanted to raise awareness by sharing my story, and it really started to help me more than I had expected. It has been amazing hearing from other people who could relate and were appreciate of my sharing my story. The same goes for some of the writing I’ve done in past years about swimming, the way I struggled with anxiety and losing the sport that I love.
Ever since all of my epilepsy stuff started to calm down (knock on wood), I’ve kind of felt a little bit lost in this. I couldn’t be more grateful that it is all starting to slip my mind, but when I go to write every week, I feel like I don’t really have much to say. There’s always other things going on in life, but does any of it really matter? Can anyone relate to the rest of it? I know we all have different issues, blessings, decisions, and struggles in life. I know that the issues I’m writing about these days aren’t as impactful as the ones I used to write about. Not everyone can relate to being a young, scared college student with no sure direction. But as far as my epilepsy and the problems it causes, I think everyone can relate to uncertainty, anxiety, hope, and faith. We are all fighting our own battles, and I think, in some odd way, they all boil down to the same issues. There’s something so special about sharing your story, and sharing mine is a privilege. I don’t know who’s here reading with me, but I wanted to say thank you. I hope that at least some of this can resonate with you. I hope what I have to say matters.
I encourage you to make your feelings into words and stories and put them on paper. I think that there’s always going to be someone that gets it and gets you. Maybe you’re feeling alone in what’s going on in your life, but you don’t have to. There’s someone out there.
I am so grateful that my epilepsy hasn’t caused as much stress as it used to, ever since my last doctor’s appointment. I hope I never write another blog about having another seizure. I hope that things will go my way from here on out. Maybe, my more typical and boring blog posts are better. My head is clearer than it was before. The little things seem a little bit bigger when my mind isn’t clouded by the big things. I’m hoping it’s that way for everyone, not just me.
What started out for me as a way to reach others has kind of turned into my personal, public diary. A way for me to push through every day. Hopefully, for whoever reads this, whether it’s 1 person or 15 people, they can be a little bit inspired to share their story. It’s cathartic and can mean the world to someone else.
And if you need to talk but you don’t want to share with the world, email me. Call me. Text me. I’m here.